A Profound Look at Two Weeks: February 22 – March 7

You know how the less you feel like working the more work the universe throws your way? I’m having this kind of time right now so I neglected my blogging duties last week. This week, self-loathing and careful planning finally did their job so here I am. Of course, I forgot the blog notes I made in the city when we left for the country but who cares.

The power of self-loathing

…is grossly underestimated, that’s what it is. I blame the positivity cult. With so much pressure to be positive about everything it’s getting harder and harder to appreciate all the great things self-loathing can motivate you to accomplish. Such as, for example, finishing that book you started translating six weeks ago and you decided you can drag it because the deadline was so generous.

Well, generous or not, when I start something I like to finish it as soon as reasonably possible. If it weren’t for my brave helper, Self-Loathing, I would never have done it and I wouldn’t have had a comfortable few days to step away from the translation to make editing a lot easier. Don’t shun self-loathing, I say. Embrace its motivational power. (I also wrote a new horror story and I just edited it and I love it, so there, one more proof self-loathing works.)

The gardening experiment

I’m doing everything right this year, not haphazardly like last year, planting in the middle of April or later and then wondering why no flower has sprouted life. No. This year I’m planting and sowing in March as the experts advise. And I’ve just run out of space for all the bulbs and seeds I got.

I made detailed plans for the vegetable plot and now I’ve got five neat beds ready to receive their load of carrots, potatoes, onions, courgettes, and I forgot what the other thing was. Oh, right, red radishes because Big C. likes them so much. Also yellow beans because I’ve got a bed for beans and it needs filling. But as I grabbed bag after bag of dahlia bulbs a few days ago I completely forgot I might need to dig new flower beds. The place is big enough but I can’t have random dahlias planted here and there. That much I know about landscaping. And it’s all I know about landscaping.

So, because of my lack of flower planning I had to dig half a dozen new beds although beds may be pushing it in at least half of the cases. Yet I did have to dig and I’m proud to report I have no stiff muscles a day after this endeavour. Which means my exercising efforts are paying off. Which makes me pretty pleased with myself. Also motivated to keep making these efforts, of course. Very motivated.

The gardening fail

This just in: I accidentally sowed four beds of lupinus next to the potatoes because I only had six potatoes and half a bed left. So I divided it into four smaller beds. And decided to put in them the contents of a plain white pack with no name on it. I thought that if I’d bought it, then we must eat it, never allowing for the possibility that it might not be a vegetable but, you know, a flower, because I also bought a lot of flower seeds, too.

Halfway through sowing, I thought I’d got it — it had to be okra! Half an hour later I found the empty lupinus pack (Seeds here come in a large pack with a name and picture on it, and in it a smaller, plain white pack with the actual seeds. This has to change.). So now I have six potato beds and four lupinus beds. In my vegetable patch. Lupinus is a perrenial plant…

A profound parenting lesson

Little C. spent five hours yesterday doing maths. She’s preparing for the European Kangaroo tournament (voluntarily) but five hours? I had difficulty believing her when she said she was indeed doing problems and not watching Coyote Peterson but eventually I did believe her. After all, I’ve explained that if she wants to win a medal (or equivalent) it’s up to her to prepare. It seems to have sunk in.

But my point was about something else, not what a smart child I’ve produced. My point was about how vastly different she is to me and how this has taught me to be a lot more accepting of difference in general. At her age, the only thing I could spend hours doing was reading. Doing math problems? Only if I had to. And now here this very different person is, who likes reading but kinda moderately and if presented with a choice between reading and doing maths would always choose the latter.

This acceptance is a very profound thing, certainly, but there are limitations to it. Criminal stupidity and irresponsibility are not among the things I could and would ever accept. As long as one has a functional brain one can learn basic logic and responsibility. Cruelty is another difference in “taste” I’m unlikely to accept anytime soon. Unless you’re being cruel to someone twice as cruel, I guess. Okay, the exceptions are piling up now so I’ll stop. Just a little snack for thought.

Profound photo for next week


If you’ve made it this far, I’ve got books to market and I’ promise they’re coherent.

For vampires, witches, and dragons click here. Part two is coming later this year, featuring demons.

For a supernatural mystery that begins mid-flight click here. (This one’s free on Kobo)


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