A Profound Look Back at the Weeks: April 26 – May 9

These past two weeks have been a time of trials and torture but also of reward for perseverance. You’ll notice I’m doing the subheadings a little differently, with the song of the same title because why not.

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Memo: Important

From: Boss

To: Muse team

Cc: Motivation, Implementation

Podcast: Four Things Cats are Great at

And I don’t like a single one of them

Hello, Audio World

https://anchor.fm/irina-slav/embed/episodes/Hello-Audio-World-etke33

Two Eyes or a Bestseller

My right eye has been bothering me recently. I think I’m seeing flashes of light at the edges of my peripheral vision and it’s making me nervous, after two years ago an ophthalmologist warned me to watch for the flashes as they could be an early signal of impending doom, also called retinal detachment. No, this is not fiction, sorry.

Customer Complaint Re Zombie Apocalypse

To whom it may concern

Dear [Insert-name-here],

I have been patient beyond measure but the time has come to vent my disappointment in how things are run on this planet with regard to humankind. Earlier this year — although the latest reports point to late 2019 — a novel coronavirus spread through the human population (and some other animals), no doubt with the purpose of containing the spread of said population. This purpose was certainly noble. The execution of the plan, however, is falling well short of expectations.

When Brain Means Enemy

I was taking Little C. to school the other day when we ran into one of her first-grade teachers, about 200 meters from the school gates. She offered to take C. the rest of the way so I could go home. Naturally, I agreed. C. said “Goodbye Mrs… I mean mum” and off they went. So did I, in the opposite direction, thinking how wonderfully perfect Mrs. K. was. It lasted for about a second and a half.

How To Make Your Life Difficult in 5 Easy Steps

Hello and welcome to today’s session in Life Advice, at which we will quickly explore the five steps you need to take to make your life that little bit more difficult to give it some extra spice because we live in a problem-free world and anyone can use some extra spice, right? Right! Each and every one of these steps is supereasy, so making your life difficult is not just simple — it’s fun!

Sit-Down Comedy: The Silent Killer

A virus or a bacteria is probably the first thought one has when confronted with the “silent killer” cliche. Or poison, possibly. But I’m not talking about any of these. I mean, who knows if bacteria or other microorganisms can’t produce noise? The result of their work often does and I’m thinking yeast here, not what you think I think. Anyway, The Silent Killer that haunted my childhood and for reasons of an unfortunate choice in life partner still haunts me now is not a microorganism. Or a poison. It is invisible. Scared yet?

This Summer’s Top Pet Peeves

What better time to make a roundup of the words and phrases that have made my life a little bit more interesting so far this year than mid-July when nothing happens. Normally. Some of those are all-time favourites and others are new crushes but I love them all.