Interactive can anyone?

by Irina Slav

I hear interactive storefronts are the coming thing — they can help you stock up a cart and then just go in and get what you’ve bought, or, better still, have it delivered without even bothering to enter an actual store. Now, I’ having a bit of a problem deciding which is more perverse, a storefront without a store, or a storefront with one. I think the second, definitely.

You’ve actually made the effort of going out, looking for whatever, and here’s this huge convenience! You stop in front of a store but you don’t have to go in. What could be better than this? Anything, really. I hope I’m not alone in thinking that this sort of innovation brings a whole new meaning to a number of words such as moronity, idiocy and patent stupidity. Oh, well, yes, on the other hand, it probably makes marketers the world over salivate uncontrollably at this new opportunity, or should I say channel.

Bus stop sides, billboards, empty spaces on buildings, all easily lend themselves to interactive storefronting, if you pardon the formation. All the thing does (well, not all of them, but the smarter ones) is reach out ever so gently to your smartphone and have a canoodle with your personal info to offer you the best bargain and in the the colour you’ve wanted. No, seriously, what could ever be better than this?

An interactive toilet seat is what’s better than this, that’s what. Just imagine the bliss — sitting on it, communing with Nature, and browsing through the latest — I don’t know — iPhone releases, to keep it strictly digital. Since the diet of the average modern-day developed-world citizen, that is, consumer, is far from optimal, it’s safe to bet on a prolonged stay on that very same interactive seat, isn’t it?¬† Say, about 15 minutes a day, during which advertisers can do their best to turn this consumer into a customer. Okay, perhaps not a day, given what I said earlier about the diet, but maybe two-three times a week? It’s still a good opportunity, especially if the family has to share tablets and the consumer in the crosshairs can’t take it with them to the can. But it’s at the back! I hear you, I do. The biggest potential area is indeed in the back, which only provides a new opportunity (love this word) for designers, working in close partnership with marketers (this one I love even more), to develop (alright I love them all) a new, cutting-edge back to front toilet seat which allows users to sit comfortably, do their business, and at the same time browse products!

That’s it, I’m patenting the idea.

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